


I Found a Girl under the Christmas Tree

by Leftpanda



Category: The Merry Gentleman (2008)
Genre: Casually save each other's life, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Killer & Housewife, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Slow Burn, The Merry Gentleman (2008) - Freeform, mainly fluff, mentions of domestic violence, weird friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 07:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11573103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leftpanda/pseuds/Leftpanda
Summary: "Hundreds and hundreds of people walk passed in one’s life. Everyone wants to know someone, to use and to complete, to save or to hurt another. He just found her...That's it."A recap & gap-filling for the 2008 Michael Keaton movie The Merry Gentleman. The story happened between a suicidal contract killer and a young woman who flees from her abusive marriage. Go watch it! It is slow-paced, tender and delicate in a heartbreaking way. It left me in crying mode and had to write this piece (for a non-existed fandom) immediately.





	I Found a Girl under the Christmas Tree

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters belonged to the talented Michael Keaton (it's his debut and only directing work!) and Ron Lazzeretti.   
> Since English is not my first language. There will be numerous, probably horrible grammar mistakes. Please bear with me. 
> 
> I would be really happy if anyone was intrigued to see this film before or after.

One month after fleeing to Chicago from her abusive husband, Kate Frazier still had nightmares. 

It was unfair. She moved into a brand new place, had a job and met with brand new people. Everything was unfamiliar in the most delightful way that makes you think the terrifying stories are over, pages turned and here is your new one. And yet, Countless nights, she still woke up in sweat, the afterimage of Michael’s face burned her eyes, choked her breath, and brought back the pain of her nearly healed wound. The fact that he was a half a country away and nobody from their unfortunate shared past had the knowledge of where she was did not reassure as much as she thought it would be. And then, there were always the questions popping up. 

_Where’s your family?_   
_Any boyfriend?_   
_Hey, you mind me ask, what happened to your eye?_

People were being friendly, with their tone casual enough. But that did not help, either. She could not hold back the impulsive need of lying. I played hockey, my friend pushed me into a telescope, stupid drunk party accident…Every time she weaved a new lie, the nightmares came back in full force. Like a constant mocking that there was no fresh start, no new stories, only the ugly and shameful truth that called her past. 

There was this little church near her office building. The statue of sweet Jesus held out his arm, embracing his child. So she prayed, for Michael to stay away, for haunting dreams to stop and cease. The candle was lit and snow fell.   
A few days later, she accidentally saved a stranger’s life, only to be informed that the guy had just caused another’s death. The irony was too much that her nightmare shifted into something different: There was the roof, and snow, a sound of gunshot and screaming. One second she witnessed the figure, only this time he did jump off the building, and the next she found herself standing on the ledge, scared that she would repeat his ending.   
It was a new kind of unsettling, nevertheless, she hardly dreamed of Michael anymore. 

God certainly has a strange way of answering her prayer. 

**

_“You are jumpy.”_

Diane, the easy-going colleague/friend stated after dropping Kate a Christmas gift, which both surprised and startled her a bit. _“Not saying that’s bad, jumpy in a cute bunny way. But still jumpy. Everything seems to scare you, more or less.”_  
She was fairly correct. Not only Diane, the flirting strangers on the party, and even the police officer who questioned her about the ‘rooftop’ incident and later seek her out for a dinner…Good lord that was one disastrous dinner…They were nice. They thought she was nice and wanted to know about her. That was why they always shoot questions. And their emotions bluntly shown on their faces, especially when they concentrated on her black eye, though the wound was fully healed, bruises carefully covered in makeup, she knew people still saw through it. Then there comes the questions, curiosity, and sympathy, or other feelings that she just could not bear to being poured into.

Except for the gentleman who helped her with the Christmas tree. Mr. Logan, who lifted the giant tree up and caught the sight of her lying on the staircase. He had this odd look on his tensed face like he did not expect her to appear under the tree and truly not knowing what to make of her. It almost fit to the awkward joke he later told. 

_“I found a girl under the tree. You know, you found presents and…I found a girl under the tree.”_

Awkward indeed. However, he was nice enough to help to carry her tree and for once, she was not jumpy or feeling anxious during a chat with someone. Maybe that was the reason she was not scared when on Christmas Eve, the man came to her door and fainted outside. Kate hesitated for merely one second before rushing out to call a cab and send him to the hospital. 

Returning a stranger’s favor. A stranger who kindly offered his coat when hers was stolen on the hospital chair. A stranger who had no family or friends to visit on the holiday, just like her.   
Earlier that day her friend Diane said, No one should be alone on the holidays. 

The next day, Kate found herself back in the hospital, visiting Frank Logan.   
They shared a still awkward conversation for five minutes and then proceeded to a rather comfortable pace. Occasionally one of them would say some random thing: movies showing in the theater, a long forgotten Christmas song, cookies and sugar rush, mindless little things and so on. After leaving the hospital, she went to see a film, eat a full Christmas dinner all by herself and fell into sleep easily before midnight. 

The day after she went to visit him again, talking about the film she just watched. She was rambling and seriously spoiling the story, which drew out a small complaint from Frank. On the third day, they sat down and watched TV in the lobby, a classic Western was on. As a revenge, he told her which one of the cowboys got the girl at the end during the commercial break. To avoid further ruining the pleasure of film industry, she proposed a truce. Frank chuckled at her holding out a hand but shook it anyway. His hand felt warm, warm and gentle. 

Only then did she realize the nightmares stopped. She hadn’t had any weird dream in the last few days. The sudden realization must hit her hard, widened her idiotic smile and made her linger in the handshake a bit longer than necessary. Always a gentleman, he did not point out. 

She decided they had officially become friends then. 

 

**  
The office held a party on New Year’s Eve, for employees who stayed in Chicago. Most of them attended with a company. Diane flew back, claiming to be her ‘date’. Later that night, after five drinks and a tearful confession, Kate learned that she had a fight with her family, apparently on the old topic of dating a married old guy, who was away in the countryside, apparently celebrating with his wife and children. The picture obviously intrigued Diane, pushing her to flirt with every single man during the party. Kate faithfully tagged along and tried her best to prevent her friend from walking too far. 

_“I love you so much. You know why, Katie? You never judge me. I fucking love you for that.”_

Ohhh. Only if she knew, she had long lost the qualification to judge anyone…No. Don’t go that way. Don’t open that door. New Year’s Eve. There was no need to drown herself in that path. 

_“Who are you going to kiss in the midnight?”_ Diane shouted into her ear.   
_“What? I, I don’t think..”_ Somehow, the idea of kissing sent her into panic all over again.   
_“No NOs! You have to kiss someone on New Year’s Eve!”_  
 _“Is that a required task?”_  
 _“Yep! The one who didn’t kiss receives no bonuses next year!”_  
The words earned another round of enthusiastic clapping and cheering. The house seemed to be lost in the ocean of drunk, stoned and overjoyed people, which also made it easy for her to hide away. As midnight approached, one by one, they gathered together and turned into shouting the final countdown. 

5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

_“Happy New Year!!”_

She heard everyone shouting at the top of their lungs, echoing to the outside world, full of people swimming in the same ecstasy. Everyone was kissing everyone. Diane was kissing a cute red-head, the man who offered her a cigarette at the former party with the new girl at the reception desk, the department leader and his girlfriend, two young girls playfully kissed and hugged each other, and two guys pushed by the others and performed a full tongue kiss in the middle of the crowds. Everyone was with someone. 

_“No one should be left unkissed at the New Year’s Eve!”_ Diane, clearly spotted her standing alone across the room, stating another one of her holiday rules.   
And that magical sentence stirred something in her. Fed up with all the joy, expectations, slight disappointment and weird courage, Kate rushed out of the office building, seeing the limited possibility of calling a cab, started running at the now empty street. Lights were on and road cleaned, the scent of snow and chilling air lightened her steps. She ran all the way to the hospital, passing a surprised nurse and a couple patients, almost directly bumped into Frank’s room. 

He was standing by the window, probably observing the outside world, or his own reflection on the glass. Clearly startled by the out of breath visitor, who gracelessly dropped into the chair, one hand pressing on the stomach, another held up in the air, forming a rather unclear and weird gesture. 

_“Kate? Are you…all right?”_   
_“One, one second, sorry, just one, don’t worry, another one second…”_

Finally, she felt steady enough, stood up and walked towards him. Frank was having that odd look again, completely unprepared for what she was going to do. She smiled nervously.

_“I just, come to wish you a happy new year. My friend said that no one should be left unkissed on New Year’s Eve. And I’d hate to leave you in any bad luck.”_  
She leaned slightly forward, leaving a quick peck on his cheek. Nothing strange. His unusually high eyebrows might go a bit higher but that was all.

_“Happy New year, again, a bit late! Huh, I’d better go back home. You still need rest. I guess, good night, then?”_   
_“Kate.”_   
_“Yeah?”_   
_“Well. Quoting your words, I’d hate to leave you in bad luck, too.”_

And then he leaned down a bit, kissing her on the cheek. His lips brushed over her skin, absolutely better than the cold wind she experienced outside. It did not frighten her, did not startle or even surprise her. It felt warm and natural. Not a life-changing touch, but a touch that made her feel the contentment of her new normal life. Like a Christmas gift from new best friend, free of constant bruises and nightmares, new movies to see and books to read, snowy days and winter miracles…

It was no time for tears. So she laughed out and hugged him tightly, satisfied to find her friend quickly returned the embrace. 

_“I wish you a very happy new year, Kate.”_   
_“You, too, Frank. You, too.”_

**  
One week into the new year, Frank was fully recovered and released from the hospital. As a small celebration, they went to the cinema. She was wearing the red coat he sent to her house. Since watching romance or chick flicks seemed too cheesy for her old-fashioned companion, Kate chose a rerun of a classic horror comedy. It was about a haunted house and a teenage Goth girl who could see ghosts. The little girl had a mild suicidal attempt and every other character in the movie was questioning and advising her. Ironically, the supposed ‘bad’ ghost was the only one who was not interested in digging her motivation. Kate liked him for that, even though he was devilish and chaotic. Walking out of the theater, they engaged in a debate over the possible ‘future’ of the girl and the ghost with the most. She insisted they would be friends and eventually fell in love when they meet again. Frank totally rejected the idea. They went into a mild debate and she found herself unwilling to end it before having a winning. Out of pure instinct, she suggested.

_“Do you want to come over to my place?”_  
 _“Um. Oh. You know, a film might not be enough. Usually, people treat me dinner before getting to that. You know what I mean?”_  
The joke took a good three seconds to finally reach her. She burst out laughing upon seeing his slightly embarrassing face. 

They had dinner in her apartment. The tiny and tidy place became a little crowded when another person filled in. However, it was a welcoming feeling to have someone sitting at the table together. He offered to wash the dishes before leaving. This time when they said good night, the kiss reached the corner of her mouth. She felt the urge to say something and thus tugged at his sleeve, looking into his blue eyes.   
_“Normally people scare me. I don’t why you didn’t.”_  
 _“Huh. Normally I scare people. I am quite happy to find you immune to my power.”_  
 _“See? I told you, we’ve been good for each other.”_

And so began a new routine. Sometimes they went out. Sending a Christmas tree back to nature, going on a fishing trip, occasionally visiting the theater and enjoy the charm of the large silver screen. More times they simply ate at her house, and squashed on her small couch, reading or watching anything remotely fun on the TV channels. One night, Frank accidentally drifted into sleep and unconsciously leaned into her. Kate shifted carefully, trying to stand up without waking him. Her movement halted upon seeing his face. He looked so exhausted and at the same time, so relieved. Even the lines around his eyes smoothed. A weird feeling, aching to the sense of proud grew in her heart. She ended up falling asleep and cuddling him as well. As a predictable result. Both of them woke up in the early morning with numb arms and extreme pain in the neck. 

_“My back is hurting! I must have spent too much time sitting on chairs during work!”_   
_“And I’m simply too old.”_

They silently got up and went to open the fridge, preparing for breakfast. Neither of them avoided eye contact or performed nervously. So far, she had a good knowledge of his food preference and he knew she liked two packs of sugar in her coffee. Kate was utterly amused to find Frank having a ‘stoned’ face in the morning. The piercing blueness in his eyes was fogged by laziness. The last time she spent a night with a man, she was so terrified and could not relax for a single moment during the whole evening and the morning after. No such tense reached her this time. Surely she was making a huge progress in relationship…were they doing relationship?

_“Is it weird that I don’t feel weird?”_ She asked bluntly when passing a plate of toast, _“I mean, normal people will feel uncomfortable under such situation, right?”_   
_“I don’t know many normal people. You seem normal enough. How do feel?”_  
 _“Not uncomfortable…quite safe. Cozy…errr my back still hurts!”_  
The ‘stoned’ face was replaced by a comforting smile. She had to admit that she liked it, a lot. Later, he drove her to the office, greeted by a super excited Diane, who kept nagging at her for a whole day, expecting to hear about the ‘man friend’. Kate, determined not to lie again this time, told her the true version of the story. 

_“I found him on a Christmas tree.”_

She grinned like a kid in the candy store. 

 

**  
Things were going so great that she was truly, totally unprepared when the bomb dropped on Valentine’s Day, as in the form of a husband re-emerging in her life, begging and crying, claiming that he had found God and pleading for her to forgive him.   
Funny that for all these time, she thought she was the one whom God responded to.

She knew she would dream of Michael that night. He was standing right in front of her like in the day time, except there was no knife for her to shield herself. They were both asking for God, him declaring his change, her not exactly knowing what she was praying for.   
She just kept murmuring, please, PLEASE. 

Whatever she prayed in her dream was heard by some miraculous unknown existence. For the next day, Officer Murcheson called, asking her to identify the dead body of Michael.   
She could not feel anything when seeing the clean white sheet.   
She could not feel anything when stepping outside of the hospital.   
She could not feel anything when later that night, she and Frank stood in the kitchen, and she began the confession which nobody had ever and would ever heard of, how she used to wish, with all her heart and fury, a hundred ways of Michael killed himself. She did not know that she was trembling and crying so violently until he pulled her close, kissing her hair, and her eye. The spot where she was hit and bruised. 

Frank never asked about the shiner. And now here he was, brushing away the invisible pain so tender and firmly, it broke her heart and fix it again all over in that single moment.   
She was murmuring again, please…please.   
The sentence was never completed. Very soon she was lost in him. His hands, lips and the soft cursing when he entered her. It was slow and tense, even strained to some degree for she could clearly tell that he was holding back as if the woman underneath him was too fragile to be true, as if she would disappear when he was not careful enough. During the time, their hands became intertwined and stayed that way for the rest of the night. An inappropriate joke about widows and sex came to her mind, but she decided to spare them from the embarrassment. 

_“What are we now?”_ She whispered in the dark and was greeted by a soft sigh.   
_“What do you want us to be?”_  
 _“I seriously had no idea. I don’t want you to think that I was using you…”_  
The idea drew out a loud chuckle.  
 _“Are you trying to distract me? To save me? Taking care of me?”_

A long silence fell down before he spoke again. 

_“Kate. I found you. And that’s it.”_

The words came out so naturally, like it was a universal acknowledged simple fact.   
It was. And she was not too surprised to find the nightmares gone again. 

 

**

Nothing much changed after that night. She left the task of informing Michael’s family to the local officers. Diane announced her ending relationship with the married manager that week, officially back to the market of dating. Kate truly cheered for her friend and encouraged her to spend more time off meeting new hot dudes rather than having dinner with her. Well, she had her own company, who remained the perfect gentleman and a quite private person, even then they shared the bed quite regularly.   
The last day of February sulked in heavy rain and thunder. They ordered take-outs, paying extra tips to the delivery boy. She was reading the newspaper, some article about the consequences of upcoming seasonal flu, which suddenly reminded her of the night Frank fainted outside of the house, could not help but smile to herself. 

_“What? I missed the joke again?”_   
_“Nah. I was just being proud of myself. Considering Pneumonia could be pretty serious, I could say I saved your life back then, Mr. Logan.”_   
_“It’s nothing worth bragging. You do it every day.”_

Back then she could not well understand what that meant, especially when she was too drown in his pleased look. She smelled the first chill air of spring. 

The next day, officer Murcheson came to her after work, politely but also practically forced her to join a questioning disguised as a dinner. 

Turns out, she did save Frank Logan’s life. Long before she sent him to the hospital, long before he lifted up the Christmas tree. 

She screamed when seeing a figure standing on the top of the roof.   
And Frank Logan slipped backward, escaped the fate of being dead and smashed, right after he shot some guy in her building. 

Save a man’s life, repaid by him taking away another one’s.   
What kind of God answering her pray in such way?

**

He left before the winter fully ended. 

Kate Frazier still dreamed of that night. When she was sitting in the church, hundreds of candle lights could not warm her up even a little bit. Frank walked in and sat right behind her. She dared not to turn her head, afraid of seeing his face, afraid of not able to control herself when seeing his face. 

_“You don’t have to be afraid.”_

She was. She really was.

_“I will never hurt you. You know I’ll never hurt you, don’t you?”_

She did. She really did. 

_What are we gonna do now, Frank?_

He never answered that question. In reality and in dreams. She didn’t turn back to see him walk away. Yet, in each dream, she turned around. In some dreams, she saw guns in his hands, guns firing at faceless people, shooting bullets into her dead husband. Sometimes he raised the gun and aimed at her. In other dreams, he walked over and kissed her hair. In all the dreams, she knew exactly what they were going to do, only to lose the answer as soon as she woke up, staring at the ceiling, smelling the emptiness in her house.

Kate considered telling Diane of the story, failed at finding the word to describe their relationship, to describe Frank in general. But she did admit her being upset. Diane was sweet enough to give full support without further questions this time. Officer Murcheson also called and visited for a couple times, later she had the answering machine installed and put in his number, solved the problem automatically. 

His coat still hung in her closet. She still wore the red coat occasionally. In April, she picked up the phone and no one spoke on the other end. The same thing happened a month later, and again, and again.   
The elephant in the room. 

When spring came and passed, she finally had the courage to talk to Murcheson again. Kindly tell the officer to stop calling. He apologized for a thousand time, which Kate was sure he did not know what exactly he was sorry for. 

_“I gave up smoking. This time for real. And drinking.”_   
_“It’s good for you.”_   
_“Yeah. Seems the right thing to do. Giving up some things. You know what I mean?”_   
_“I know. Thanks for the calling. Please do not call again.”_

She did know. It was the right thing for him to do. Ultimately, maybe it was the right thing for her to do. Meanwhile, she just could not fully come to the agreement. Because things aren’t categorized all in right and wrongs. 

There were the right and the wrong. There were the black and the white. The good and the bad, the saint and the sinner, the violator and the protector...and then there was Frank.  
Frank who could not be defined. Frank who took and give her everything. Frank whom she knew so well and at the same time knew nothing of at all. 

Hundreds and hundreds of people walk passed in one’s life. Everyone wants to know someone, to use and to complete, to save or to hurt another.   
He just found her, and vice versa. 

That’s it. 

 

**

The next Christmas, Kate did not waste time to pick a tree. This year Diane was away on another continent, with her new boyfriend and his family. She kindly refused their invitation to tag along from the beginning. No matter what Diane said about holiday’s rules, you could really get used to being alone on holidays, totally at ease.   
She spent almost the entire day waiting beside the telephone. A happy and expensive international call from Diane reached in the morning. Many of her old friends also called this year, after learning that Michael was not a problem anymore, they got back in touch. She patiently answered all the phones, updating and getting updated on the news. 

_I am doing really well._  
 _No boyfriends yet._   
_Don’t worry about me and enjoy your holiday._

Around midnight she finally got the call she was waiting for. She knew he'd call. It was Christmas. 'Their Christmas'. 

_“Hello?”_

There is still no answering. 

_“I know…I know it’s you. Frank. Please, don’t hang up.”_

She swore she heard a sigh. Almost impossible to catch. She was so afraid that he might leave at any time, so she simply started rambling. 

_“I had nightmares recently. Pretty bad nightmares, worse than ever. I dreamed that, that you were gone. I was standing under the building and shouting with all my strength, but you couldn’t hear me. You just jump off…And another time, I dreamed of you leaning against a bridge, staring at the river below…you were so far away, always so far away that it was impossible for me to reach you. And I got so scared of what might happen. I even considered praying again, then I was also scared of praying for anything now. You know, me and God, we were still kind of stuck in awkward places…”_

She was going too far, and away from the topic. But he did not end the call yet. 

_“I just, I just want to know if you are all right? And…and I want to say Merry Christmas. God, time passed so fast. I never felt the winter leaving and here it was, arriving again…”_

 

_“Kate.”_

How strange it was, to stop and start breathing again during the same second. 

_“What are you gonna do now, Kate?”_

It was torturing her. Tearing her up and swallowing her down. 

_“I don’t know.”_ She almost could not hear herself. _“I still don’t know.”_

_“It’s okay, don’t worry too much. Merry Christmas.”_

How can he be so calm when every word was still killing her? A strangled sound escaped her throat, half of a laugh and half of a whimper. He waited for her to calm down and take a deep breath. Then she heard his voice again.

 

_“I found you. Remember? I’ve already found you.”_

That’s it. 

And the nightmares stopped, again. 

 

FIN.


End file.
